October 20, 2016

Hi, Subscribers!

It has been awhile since I sent you anything. I could not think of any topic that would be of interest to either one of us.

But, then I started wondering if you would be even remotely interested in knowing that:

The SWAT team stopped by my apartment building to arrest a guy for murder.

When I renewed my lease for the third year, they did not increase my rent from the first year. They said I was a good tenant.  I am.  I pay my rent a week in advance for brownie points.

My next door neighbors (3 girls) were arrested for larceny and battery and kicked out.

Sounds like I live in a war zone.

I aired out my apartment for two hours and three flies decided to stay for dinner.  A farmer told me that if you wait until they do that grooming thing with their feet and face, that’s when you nail them.

My rental agency put in a new toilet.  To my dismay, it is one of those water efficient ones, so I am always a little nervous that it is not going to flush everything down.  So far, so good.

Oh, this will totally gross you out.  This morning there was a great big fat centipede in my bedroom directly over my head. I was too short to reach it.  It seemed to be asleep because I turned on the light, got coffee, and dropped a book. I took my eyes off of it for two seconds and saw it out of the corner of my eye go zipping across the wall down to the corner of the floor. I nailed him.

Here is a good tip for catching bugs: the material you use needs to be wet. Otherwise, they slip right under it. When the paper towel is wet, they can’t move — usually. Of course, flat soled shoes work, too.

Now it sounds like I live in a slum.

Still with me?

I found a cool resident.  A young man named Julian who is about eight years old. He started helping me carry up my groceries.  He seems very pleased with himself while doing this.  I am going to spoil him rotten on Halloween. He is absolutely adorable with impeccable manners.

I saw an older man in a store who was wearing a cap with NAVY on it. So, I asked the obvious: “Were you in the Navy?” He said yes.  I said: “Thank you for serving.” He gave me the most penetrating look and said: “You are the first person to say that to me.” Whoa. I usually do that on a semi-regular basis, but I’ll step it up now.

I had a great dental check-up.

I nailed my physical, except my blood pressure was high.  That’s a first.  My doctor said to keep an eye on it every few days.  So, I went up to Rite Aid to use their machine. The first reading was high, but after that it just kept falling fast. I have no idea why as I had changed nothing.

Well, I found out why.  When I brought in my weird readouts, my doctor told me those machines are not calibrated on a regular basis and suggested I get my own, which I did for $60. Turns out mine does give reliable readouts. So, the upside to all of this is that I get to play doctor. The downside is that she increased my blood pressure medication.

I found a new hairdresser whom I like very much.

I read the “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy and saw the movie.

My car wouldn’t start, so I had to call AAA. They fixed it on the spot.  I needed a new post which luckily he had in his truck.  Don’t ask me what a post is.  I saw it and could pick it out in a line-up, but that’s about it.  I know it makes my car engine very happy.

I was in a parking lot killing time, when an elderly man pulled in and parked near me.

Get this:  He drove a bright yellow Mustang convertible.

Man, those cars are HOT.  I’m glad they brought them back.

As he walked away to do an errand, I hopped out of my car  and walked over to it being sure to keep my hands behind my back. I looked inside and it had every conceivable button you can get on a car.

When he came back, I said that car is a real chick magnet.  He burst out laughing and said he didn’t think his wife would go for that. Then I said it looked like a car he bought as a present for himself.  He agreed.  I wanted to ask him for a quick ride, but my sense of him told me that wasn’t going to happen .

Retirement should be so rewarding for all of us.

Well, since I can’t think of anything to top that Mustang anecdote – (although the centipede thing comes close) – I’ll sign off for now.

Thank you for your kind ongoing support and have a fun Halloween!

Best wishes to you all,


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Updated: April 5, 2017 — 7:47 pm
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